RWBY Chibi (Traveler) Extras
by Intrestsofthemind
Summary: Remember RWBY Chibi? Remember the extra chapter of Reality Chronicles Book 4? Hear's some more of that. (Updated when possible.)
1. Chapter 1

**Crop destruction**

Lily gave a long sigh as she looked over her produce garden on the school courtyard; most of the vegetables had been taken and what wasn't taken had been chewed and eaten before Lily could even touch it.

Lily: What happened to my produce? I worked on it for weeks.

Soren: It's a mystery!

Lily jumped slightly as Soren suddenly appeared behind her wearing a detective's plaid hat and plaid cloak.

Soren: Your vegetables are being destroyed by an unknown creature. This can only be done by a rouge vandal!

Lily: Has Weiss been expanding your vocabulary?

Soren: Regardless! Our culprit is still at large and only one thing can hunt them down.

Soren pulled out twin soul and stabbed at the half eaten tomato before whistling sharply. Zwei hopped over to him and Soren held out the eaten vegetable to the dog.

Soren: Alright Zwei, find the scent boy.

Zwei sniffed the shirt and started smelling around the soil before digging into it and grabbing at a large brown ear.

?: Ow! Stop pulling!

Zwei gave a powerful pull and Velvet came popping out of the ground and flopped onto the ground.

Lily: Velvet!?

Soren: Of course, she could not resist the rabbit instinct to eat and raided your vegetables.

Velvet: N-No! I didn't do anything like that!

Soren: So then these…AREN'T your teeth marks!

Soren held out a head of lettuce with a bite mark on it and shoved it into Velvet mouth perfectly matching where it had the bite mark.

Lily: 'Gasp' It matches!

Soren: I rest my case!

As Soren gave a proud look Velvet suddenly pulled the lettuce head out of her mouth and smashed it on Soren's head.

Velvet: You can't just go shoving things in peoples' mouth!

Soren: Ow! How can lettuce do so much damage!?

Suddenly Coco popped her head out of the hole in the ground.

Coco: Hey Velvet, you swipe the vegetables?

Everyone, including Zwei, turned their head to look at Coco who looked shocked as she slowly descended back into the hole before Velvet followed and covered up the hole.

Soren: Of course, Velvet was just a pawn in a much bigger game; Coco must be the true culprit!

Lily: Please stop.

 **Too hot…**

Team RWBY and SAGL were currently enjoying the bright sunny day; Weiss, Alice and Yang were all laying on long chairs in bikinis and soaking up the sun as they worked on their tans; Blake and Lily were reading under a nearby tree while Gareth took a nice nap next to them while Soren was currently swinging his sword as he trained in the center of the whole matter.

Weiss: …Anyone else think we should have gone to the beach today?

Everyone looked at her and made various motions of agreement. Suddenly a triumphant laugh was heard from nearby where Roman Torchwick and Neo were currently standing.

Roman: Prepare yourselves children! For today is the day I shall have my revenge on you all! Your doom is at hand!

Soren: Can we push this back to another day?

Roman: What!? No! I shall destroy you here!

Alice: It's too hot to deal with anything.

Yang: Seriously…pass the sunscreen.

The clinking of glasses passed through the air as Ruby hopped over holding a tray of ice cold lemonade.

Ruby: Who wants lemonade?

Roman: There will be no lemonade! The only thing you shall drink is the bitter drink of revenge!

Roman looked over in shock to see Neo was enjoying lemonade with the others.

Roman: Neo, we're not here to enjoy lemonade!

Neo pulled out a sign.

Neo: 'But it's cold and refreshing.'

Roman made various grunts and wails before taking a long sigh and grabbing a glass of lemonade sucking it down.

Roman: …Mmm…not bad.

 **Secrets**

Gareth sat in the dining hall with a mountain of food on the table in front of him making him drool slightly; stepped forward with Mercury and Emerald on either side of her.

Cinder: This can all be yours. All I need is information on Beacon.

Gareth: For this much food I'll give you my room key.

Mercury: Really…

Emerald quickly bonked him on the head and nodded to Cinder who turned back to Gareth.

Cinder: Are there any interesting…secrets you could tell us about this place.

Gareth thought for a moment before giving a look of realization.

Gareth: I hear Ozpin…

All three of the leaned in to hear him intently.

Gareth: …drinks tea with lemon.

Cinder: …A-Anything else you could tell us?

Gareth: Hmmm…there's a rumor going around that Glynda really likes romance novels.

Mercury tapped his foot impatiently and growled as Emerald gave a look of shock and disbelief.

Cinder: How about anything that maybe isn't known to anybody…something that the staff may not want others to know.

Gareth: Oooohhh, I know what you want.

Cinder's face lit up as Gareth beckoned them out of the cafeteria.

Gareth led them to the office building and into the elevator before hitting a button labeled, 'S.T.A.G'. The elevator clunked down lower and lower as Cinder grew more giddy and giddy until it stopped and the elevator opened up to reveal a room with a glass window in front of it where Ozpin, Port, and Oobleck were all standing together in a soundproofing room with mics in front of each of them. Next to them was a second room where Glynda was sitting with a set of headphones on and a mixing board in front of her.

Ozpin: Alright everyone. A one and a two and a-

Ozpin, Oobleck and Port: My Grim lies over the ocean, my grim lies over the sea, my grim lies over the ocean. Oh bring back my Grim to meeee.

Gareth: There you go. The biggest secret I know.

Emerald: The teachers have an acapella group?

Mercury: I am SO getting all of this on video.

Cinder sighed as she slumped against the wall.

Cinder: Soooo…disappointing…even though they're not have bad.

Ozpin, Oobleck, and Port: Oh bring back my Grim tooooo….meeeeeeeee!

 **Jealousy**

Gareth and Velvet sat in the library as Velvet went over a book as Gareth listened to her.

Velvet: And that's how the Grim were taken out of Vacuo due to the strenuous heat and desert sand.

Gareth: Cool. Wait…then how did humans and Faunus cultivate it?

Velvet giggled before pulling out another book.

Velvet: I actually really like how it happened. You see-

Lily: Hey guys.

Lily stepped up to the table and looked over at Velvet and Lily before glaring.

Lily: W-What's happening here?

Gareth: Velvet is reading to me.

Lily went slack jawed and wide eyed at this before taking a deep breath and quickly moving in between Gareth and Velvet.

Lily: W-W-Well I think I should help out!

Velvet: Um…are you okay?

Lily turned to Velvet and stared her in the eyes with an intensity that made Velvet slightly cower.

Lily: Just fine…now-

She turned to Gareth and gave him a bright smile.

Lily: -let's get some reading done.

As Lily started reading Gareth listened intently as Velvet shivered and slid away from the table in fear.

 **It wasn't me**

Alice, Ruby and Blake sat in Team Rwby's room with Alice and Blake reading while Ruby was playing game. Suddenly the door burst open and Soren rushed in before slamming it behind him making all of the girls look at him in confusion and shock.

Alice: What in gods' name-

Soren: If anyone asks, I was studying with…Blake, in the library ALL day.

Blake: What are you-

A thunderous voice cut through the air from outside.

Yang: WHO DESTROYED MY BIKE!

Ruby: Was that-

Soren: Look, I'll pay you to say we studied all day Blake! What do you want!? Tuna? I can get you tuna! Or maybe the third book in your series; The man with two souls three, the man with six souls!

Yang: MY SUNGLASSES!

Alice: What did you do to her bike!?

Soren: Let's not get in to the specifics of what exactly happened, okay? Let's just all agree, I can't drive…and Blake and I were at the library all day.

Blake: …Where's your left glove?

Soren looked down at his left hand to find his fingerless glove not slipped over the palm as Blake pointed out.

Soren: …Oh no.

Yang: SOREN!

Soren stood there for a moment before opening the door and slamming it behind him as he rushed out. A few second later the sound of gun fire could be heard in the distance and slight screaming.

Ruby: …You think he's okay.

Alice: Eh…who knows?

With that everyone went back to what they were doing as various sounds of destruction could be heard from outside as Soren screamed and Yang yelled.

 **Fort Port**

Soren, Gareth, Ren, and Jaune all stood in front of the elevator as waited as it slowly made its way up to them.

Gareth: Well, anyone else up for a shower?

Soren: I could use one.

Jaune: Yeah, training with the girls is exhausting.

Soren: Especially with Pyrrha and Weiss beating you so many times.

Jaune: Like you have room to talk!

Ren: I too could use a shower.

The elevator opened and all of the boys stepped in. Before Soren hit ground floor he saw a bunch of buttons below ground floor. The others shrugged in confusion before Gareth pointed to one of the buttons labeled, 'Fort Port (No girls allowed)'.

Soren: Ooooh…

Gareth: Press it, Preeeeessss iiiiiiiiiiit.

Soren shrugged before hitting the button and hearing the elevator clunk down until it gave a ding. When the door opened there was another door with a slot on it; when Soren knocked on the door the slot opened up and a pair of eyebrows came into view.

Port: Password?

Soren looked at the others who all shrugged before Ren stepped forward.

Ren: Is it…No girls allowed?

The slot closed before various unlocking sounds could be heard and the door opened to reveal a man cave like area with Ozpin and Oobleck playing foosball in the back.

Port: Welcome to Fort Port boys!

Gareth: Wow…it's awesome!

Soren: I didn't expect this honestly.

Port: Alright boys, please come in and be careful…enemies lurk everywhere.

Ren: What enemies?

Ruby: CHAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGE!

Everyone turned to see Ruby, Yang and Nora all charging at the doorway with a battering ram. Port quickly closed the door and pressed a button that covered the door in steel. A few seconds later the sound of something crashing against the door was heard before collective groaning followed.

Yang: No…fair…

Port: Hoho! Going to have to try harder than that to get in here.

Ruby: We'll show you! We'll have our own clubhouse and it'll be awesome!

They slinked away as Port laughed along with Gareth.

Soren: I don't get it, why not let girls in?

Everyone gave Soren a collective look of shock as he looked around confused.

Soren: …What?

The next moment the door opened and Soren was tossed out the door before it slammed behind him.

Soren: …Ow.

 **Water Games**

Soren and Alice sat in the boat in the middle of the lake enjoying the bright sun and gentle water ripples as fish passed over the top. Soren and Alice both had fishing poles sitting on the waters' edge as fish came by and inspected the bobbers.

Soren: Ah…nothing beats fishing when you want to do something quiet.

Alice: I will admit that just waiting is better than chasing. Although…we haven't gotten any bites yet.

Soren: Yeah, that is weird…I think something is scaring the fish off.

Suddenly Alice's pole bent as something pulled at the line and Alice lunged to grab it before pulling with all her might and pulling Blake out of the water; she was wearing a wetsuit and scuba gear.

Alice: Blake!?

Soren: Why are you in the water? Wait…you're the one scaring the fish!?

Blake: What? No. I am too quiet for that.

Alice: You're definitely decked out for it.

Suddenly Soren's line began to bend and he grabbed it before reeling in and pulling Ruby out of the water, she was also wearing a wetsuit and scuba gear.

Soren: What the-

Alice: Why are YOU in the water!?

Ruby: How else are you supposed to play Marco Polo?

Suddenly Weiss climbed into the boat and, unsurprisingly, was wearing scuba gear and a wetsuit.

Weiss: So, are we done playing?

Yang: (Muffled in water) Marco!

Ruby: Polo!

 **If the weapon fits**

The whole group was gathered together in the dining hall as a weapon exhibition was being held; everyone had their weapons on display for the others to see. Blake and Weiss were currently at Soren's booth.

Blake: So he uses a long sword…it seems simple.

Weiss: I'm sure there must be a hidden button for a gun or something…maybe a motion?

Weiss picked up Twin Soul and swung it suddenly getting clocked in the jaw as it converted to blade staff mode.

Weiss: No fair!

Blake: I thought it was two swords?

Blake swung it in a different manner and suddenly the other end popped off and flew up before the hilt hit Blake in the head.

Blake: Ow!

As Blake and Weiss stood in confusion at Twin Soul, Yang and Nora were currently examining Gareth's Earthbreaker.

Nora: It's big.

Yang: It's just a battle axe?

Nora: Hey look, a button!

Nora pressed the button and suddenly the axe head fell off the handle and clanked to the ground as a chain spooled out.

Yang: Woah!

Nora: It's like a Morningstar!

Nora picked up the axe handle and began to swing it around wildly.

Yang: Nora, be careful, that could hit someone if you're not-

Before she could finish the axe end sent Yang flying as it collided with her. Nearby at Lily's booth, Sun and Neptune were examining Reaper in its staff mode.

Sun: So…it's just a staff?

Neptune: Then why is it called reaper?

Sun looked closely to see a button in the middle and pressed it to make a scythe edge suddenly sprout and stick into the ground.

Sun: That…might be why.

Neptune: You might want to pull it out.

Sun tried to pull and found it was dug into the ground pretty well.

Sun: Don't think I can.

Neptune: Hang on.

They both pulled with all their might and as it was pulled from the ground they went crashing into the stand behind them. Lastly, Ruby and Jaune were looking over Alice's booth and her weapon Enchantress.

Jaune: Huh, so she uses dust cylinders.

Ruby: But it's so tiny…how does she pull of so many elemental attacks?

Jaune: These guys have way too complicated weapons.

Ruby: Yeah, I'm glad ours are so simple.

Gareth: Hey guys?

Ruby and Jaune turned to see Gareth chuckling nervously.

Gareth: What's the fastest way to the infirmary? I…accidently slash Soren when I hit a button on Ruby's scythe. Alice also clocked Lily in the face when she accidently opened Jaune's sword and shield thing.

Ruby: …That's just a coincidence.

 **I scream, you scream, we all scream for iced poison!**

Alice, Weiss, and Pyrrha sat in the ice cream parlor in Vale enjoying casual chitchat as they waited for their orders to be brought to them.

Pyrrha: This is nice. I never knew they opened an ice cream place in Vale.

Alice: Yeah, I don't think this was here last week.

Weiss: You know, I don't remember hearing about this place either.

As they chatted Roman and Neo stood in the back looking over the three girls as Roman gave a wicked grin.

Roman: Muahahahaha! With this ice cream shop as a front we can serve ice cream to our enemies with poison as the special ingredient!

Neo: 'And Neopolitan'

Roman: Yes, yes. That too. Now prepare the Sundays!

Neo pulled out a plate with three Sundays on them. She strode out and placed the Sundays down in front of the three girls and placing a personal cherry on top of all three.

Neo: 'Enjoy'

Pyrrha: Thank you.

Weiss: Hey…don't we know that girl?

Alice: I…don't think so. Well, our ice cream is here so let's-

?: Salutations!

Before they all dug in Penny strode in and stood in front of all three of them.

Alice: Hey Penny.

Pyrrha: It is very nice to see you again Penny.

Penny: And it is a pleasure to see you as well. Are you enjoying cow secretion?

Weiss: You mean ice cream?

Penny: …Yes. But if I may intrude, the cherries seem very peculiar according to my scanners.

Pyrrha and Weiss looked at each other in confusion as Alice felt her brow sweat with worry.

Alice: …Hahahaha…very funny Penny. You're a pretty good joker…here, have our cherries.

Alice picked the cherries off the top of the Sundays and placed them in Penny's hands.

Penny: Thank you Alice. I shall consume them now.

Penny popped them in her mouth and smiled as both Roman and Neo gave looks of shock from the back room. Penny covered her mouth before burping as a cloud of purple smoke came from her mouth and formed a skull and bones.

Penny: Excuse me.

 **Pool visit**

Gareth ran around the pool in his trunks chasing after Neptune as he tried to avoid the pool.

Neptune: No! I refuse to enter the pool! No water!

Gareth: You can't run forever! I will get you in that pool!

Neptune: No! I will die before I enter the pool!

Neptune looked up to see Sun lazing in his lifeguard chair as he watched Neptune run around the edge of the pool.

Neptune: Shouldn't you be stopping Gareth from running around the pool!?

Sun: I'm on my break.

Neptune: For how long?

Sun: How long are you going to struggle?

Neptune: Wha-

Suddenly Gareth lunged and Neptune stepped back as Gareth slid forward and into the pool supplies.

Neptune: Ha! I- whoa, whoa whoa-

Neptune teetered back and forth as he stood on the very edge of the pool about to fall in before making a big splash and crashing into the water. As Sun chuckled Gareth got up and gave his tail a high five.

Sun: Good plan.

Gareth: I get one out of every ten.

 **Jealousy**

Lily and Jaune sat in the library going over test notes from the pop quiz earlier that day.

Lily: Alright, knowing Peach there will be a big test in a week. The good news is she always plays her hand too quickly and puts important questions on that pertain to what she asks on big tests.

Jaune: Wow…you know your stuff. Thanks for helping me out Lily.

Lily: No problem, I don't mind helping you.

Pyrrha: Hey Jaune…hi Lily.

Jaune: Hey Pyrrha. Lily said she would help me study for Peach's test.

Pyrrha: Really? …How nice of her…you know, I wouldn't mind sharing my notes.

Jaune: Really? That would be awesome.

Pyrrha: Yes, I would love to help you.

Suddenly Pyrrha pushed Lily's chair over as she set one down in between both of them and looked at Jaune.

Lily: Um…I was-

Pyrrha looked over at Lily with a smile and leaned in making her face slightly darken in the shadows of the room.

Pyrrha: I think we've got this covered…why don't you go do something else for a bit Lily?

Lily felt something crawl up her spine before she stood up and walked away leaving Jaune and Pyrrha to study alone as she shuddered away.

 **Junior Detective's Detective**

Sun and Neptune sat under a tree and both gave a long sigh as they looked at their detective badges.

Sun: Man, we've been in a slump. Every case we've taken had been a bust!

Neptune: I know. Remember that dust shop robbery?

Sun: Poor old man. I wonder how if he got the flowers we sent?

Neptune: Maybe this town is too much for a detective duo.

?: Then how about a trio?

Sun and Neptune looked around for the voice before Soren came leaping down from the tree and stood proudly in his detective hat and plaid cloak.

Neptune: Soren?

Soren: Call me: Ace Detective Soren!

Sun: What do you know about being a detective?

Soren: Well I solved the case of Lily's vegetable patch.

Neptune: I heard about that.

Sun: Didn't Velvet and Coco beat you up?

Soren: Specifics aren't needed! All you need to know is that I've got the one thing neither of you do!

Neptune: And what's that?

Soren reached into his jacket and pulled out a big magnifying glass.

Soren: A magnifying glass.

Sun and Neptune looked at each other and whispered before standing up and extending their hands.

Sun: Welcome to the team rookie!

Neptune: Don't let us down.

Soren: I won't!

Coco: Soren! Come out and take your beating!

Velvet: Better not make a sound, I'll hear it!

Soren: I've already learned something important.

Neptune: What?

Soren: When the case is done don't do a follow up investigation…especially when it ended badly the first time.

Coco and Velvet: SOREN!

 **Literature Club**

Blake, Velvet, Lily, Gareth and Weiss all sat around holding a copy of the first edition of 'A Man with Two Souls'.

Blake: Let's bring this first meeting of our book club to order. How did everyone like the book?

Velvet: I thoroughly enjoyed the inner turmoil Seth faced with his body being shared with Jake.

Weiss: I found it interesting how his connection with Jennet saved him from being consumed by his weakened state.

Lily: It was surprisingly touching when we found out that his mentor, who was believed to be against him, sacrificed himself in order to save both his new pupil and his old pupil.

Blake, Weiss and Velvet all gave various sounds of agreement.

Gareth: Huh…so this is a book club…kind of boring.

Weiss: Then why are you here?

Gareth: Lily read the book to me. I thought since she did that I could join her at book club.

Blake: Well then what did you think of Seth's upbringing as the runt of his family?

Gareth: Well it was interesting how he felt distanced and alone despite coming from a large family. It was kind of unrealistic how he felt alone because it seemed like he and his brother Brent seemed to connect so well when he met up with him and they seemed very happy to see one another despite drifting apart when Brent went off to make something of himself when Seth was still so young.

Every girl except Lily gave looks of pure shock and awe directed at Gareth who slapped his knees before standing up.

Lily: He's an intent listener.

Weiss: Obviously.

Blake: …I think…book club is done for the day.

Suddenly Ruby came busting in.

Ruby: In that case. I invite everyone to come join me in MY book club with Alice, Pyrrha and Nora.

Weiss: What's your book?

Ruby: Ninja's of Love.

Blake: WHAT!?

As soon as she finished that word everyone except Gareth and Blake had left the room with turned over and knocked over folding chairs.

Gareth: Man…that's a new record.

 **Hide and Rescue**

Alice, Jaune and Yang all searched around the courtyard looking under every shrub, tree, bench, building, and bed they could find looking for Ren.

Yang: Come on, we've been looking for Ren for hours now.

Jaune: I don't understand. How can we not find him?

Alice: Maybe it has to do with the fact we're looking for someone who has a semblance that TURNS HIM INVISIBLE!

Jaune: Oh yeah…kind of forgot about that.

Yang: Fine time to forget.

Alice: Alright, let's just think. Where would an invisible guy be?

Everyone went into deep thought before Alice gave a loud groan.

Alice: Oh for gods' sake.

Alice turned around and punched at the air hitting Ren's stomach and making him turn visible before collapsing on the ground.

Alice: Stop using that!

Ren: Noted…stop using that.

Alice: Deal.

 **Compost King**

Team JNPR sat in their room with Pyrrha playing with her sword while Ren was sitting while Nora was cutting his hair and Jaune was reading a comic book. Gareth broke the silence as he bust open the door making everyone jump as he held mulch in his hand.

Gareth: Take this Jaune! I am the compost king!

Jaune: What!? How did you get mulch already! The quality needed to win is still a few weeks away!

Gareth: Tell that to this bad boy! This mulch could make trees grow into the tree of knowledge!

Nora: Wait…you played that to completion?

Pyrrha: They started a few months ago.

Gareth: And I won! Should have paid more attention to the water your soil needed Jaune!

Jaune: Well then, let's play again! I'll cream you!

Gareth: Bring it!

With that both of them rushed out the door slamming it behind them and leaving the rest of Team JNPR confused.

Ren: …Nora? Did you spill something on my head?

Nora: No…oh!

Ren: What?

Nora: N-Nothing! I just spilled something on you without thinking.

Pyrrha: Nora, your hand is red.

 **Playing with your food**

Gareth sat at the dining table with everyone and grabbed two breadstick off his plate before sticking them into both edges of his mouth and imitating a walrus which made Lily giggle as Pyrrha, Jaune, and Yang snicker.

Alice: Gareth, don't play with your food.

Gareth inhaled the breadsticks and pouted.

Gareth: What about them?

Gareth pointed to Ruby who was holding a full bottle of ketchup and had a scale model of Godzilla made of green beans with corns for eyes on her plate while Soren had created a city replica out of French-fries and mashed potatoes.

Ruby: Beware my wrath tiny town! Now I shall bring down a fire upon your lives mortals!

Ruby squirted the ketchup over the small town making the buildings fall apart as everything on the plate became soggy.

Soren: Nooooo…this is an unforeseen and delicious tragedy! Who could have predicted our demise by ketchup! Now we shall be devoured by the gods!

Ruby: And I shall rule over the remains…for I am made of vegetables and no one would want to eat me.

Soren grabbed the salt and sprinkled it over the Green Bean Godzilla.

Ruby: 'Gasp' Oh no, salt! The one thing that can make me eatable! I am doomed! DOOOOMMMMMED!

Ruby bit into the Godzilla's head as everyone looked in disbelief.

Alice: …Those two are unfixable.

Weiss: Agreed.

 **Jealousy**

Soren and Glynda sat in the library as Glynda went over the study material for her class with him.

Soren: Thanks for the help Glynda. I really needed the study aid.

Glynda: It's a teacher's job to help her students.

Soren: Still…thanks.

Glynda: You're very welcome.

Weiss: Hey Soren.

Soren turned to see Alice and Weiss approaching him.

Soren: Hey girls. Glynda is helping me study.

Alice: Really? …Hmmm.

Weiss: You know, we could help you…and give Glynda a break.

Glynda: That's fine. I cleared my time block for helping Soren.

Weiss and Alice both moved over to each side of Glynda and stared directly at her.

Alice: No, we INSIST.

Weiss: Yes, we REALLY want to help out…so we'll see you in class.

Glynda sighed pushing her glasses up before pulling out her wand and enveloping Alice and Weiss in a purple aura. She swung to the side and sent Weiss and Alice flying and crashing into a bookshelf.

Glynda: I'm too experienced to be intimidated girls.

Soren looked at her in confusion before she cleared her throat.

Glynda: Now, let's get back to studying.

Soren shrugged before going back to studying with Glynda.

Weiss: That went poorly.

Alice: Older women are terrifying.


	2. Chapter 2

**Detective Training Lesson 1**

Sun, Neptune and Soren all stood outside a busted door on a dorm room; a strange brown liquid was stuck to the floor in front of it while the door had a massive whole busted through the wood itself. Sun and Neptune stroked their mustaches as Soren smoked his bubble pipe with a contemplative look on his face.

Sun: Lesson one newbie! Clearly this room has been broken into.

Neptune: Note the hole in the door.

Sun: Exactly! Now, what else is here to be used as a clue?

Soren: How about the syrup stain on the rug.

Neptune: Ha! Only an amateur would focus on that! How about this!?

Neptune pulled out Nora's hammer from behind the door and held it up as Soren gasped.

Sun: Or this!

Sun reached into the room and pulled out a pink fingerless glove making Soren look cautiously at everything.

Neptune: Or this!

He reached in and pulled out Nora before throwing her on the ground.

Soren: Who's room is this!?

Nora shook her head before raising her hand.

Ren: Nora.

Everyone looked over to see Ren holding a stack of pancakes as he approached them.

Ren: You locked yourself out again didn't you?

Nora: Yeah, had to bust a hole in the door…I think I spilled some syrup too.

Ren: Of course you did…come on, let's go get more syrup.

As they walked off Soren turned to the two 'ace detectives' and glared.

Neptune: It…REALLY…looked like a crime.

 **The Ponytail club**

Weiss banged a small gavel on a stand making both Alice and Pyrrha turn to her.

Weiss: The fifth meeting of the ponytail club shall now come to order. First we shall read the minutes of our last meeting.

Weiss reached under and drop the clipboard onto the podium before clearing her throat.

Weiss: Three-fifteen: Proper hair care and hair band tying was discussed and debated. Four-twenty: Discussion of applicants was discussed and we are all agreed; Jaune is not allowed to join.

Alice and Pyrrha nodded before the door suddenly bust open with Jaune's hair put up in a small ponytail.

Jaune: How about now ladies!?

Weiss: NO!

Weiss pulled her rapier out and swung it activating her semblance and slamming the door shut in Jaune's face.

Alice: Can I just bring up the fact that besides keeping Jaune out of our group we've done almost nothing with this club?

Pyrrha: I…wasn't going to say anything but…yeah.

Weiss: …Coffee?

Pyrrha and Alice looked at each other before nodding and everyone stood up.

Weiss: Another successful meeting!

Alice: Just like it always ends.

 **Story Time**

Soren, Alice, Lily and Gareth all practiced together in the field working on their team moves in perfect harmony before ending in an impressive pose that left the other teams slightly in awe while Team RWBY and JNPR both just looked skeptically at them.

Ruby: You know…you guys are pretty well coordinated.

Soren: Thanks.

Gareth: Yeah, we rock.

Pyrrha: I must ask, how did you get to that level of trust in battle.

The team looked at each other before busting out laughing.

Soren: Well…I guess it started when Alice tried to kill me.

Alice: Hey, I wasn't the only one. Gareth and Lily almost killed you too.

Lily: Yeah but it came close when he almost took me out.

Gareth: Yeah…almost killing each other really creates a bond.

As they laughed the others just stood there with their mouths agape; Weiss was the first one to break out of her surprise and place her hand on Soren's shoulder.

Weiss: Have you ever heard of masochism?

Soren just looked at her quizzically.

 **Really good friends**

Jaune, Soren, Gareth and Ren all sat at the same table in the cafeteria enjoying the days lunch as they all talked about various matters.

Jaune: That test almost destroyed my brain.

Gareth: Tell me about it.

Soren: It was like every test was crammed into one.

Ren: I will admit that it had its own challenges…and then some.

Jaune: 'Whew' I tell ya, if Pyrrha hadn't helped me study then I would have been dead meat.

Gareth: Yeah, Lily went over everything three times to make sure I got it.

Soren: Me and Alice had to pull an all-nighter just to be prepared in time for it, I don't think I've slept yet…does anybody else have dancing soda cans?

Ren: Even Nora was willing to help me with this one…I do appreciate it, I felt like my score was even better because of her.

Soren: …You know what? All the girls who helped us…are awesome friends.

Jaune: Definitely right there.

Gareth: No question!

Ren: I am in full agreement.

A few tables away from them sat Alice, Pyrrha, Lily and Nora. Lily moved her finger in a circle along the table with a sullen look while Pyrrha smiled as her right eye twitched slightly and Alice rubbed her temple with her fingers while Nora gripped the table hard enough to make the sound of snapping wood.

Alice: 'Sigh'…Idiots…

 **Secret Books**

Blake stood on the corner of Tungsten's Book Store (Home to every book under the sun) tapping her foot as she waited for someone to show up. Blake turned as she heard whistling and looked to see Gareth slowly approaching her.

Gareth: …Did you get it?

Blake: Yep.

Blake held out a copy of a book titled, The Shattered Moon before handing it to Gareth who then handed her a small stack of Lien.

Gareth: Yesssssss!

Alice: What are you two doing outside the book shop?

Gareth jumped slightly as Alice walked out of the book store with a bag. She looked over them before noticing the book in Gareth's hand.

Alice: You read Gareth?

Gareth: Yeah of course. Is it that surprising?

Alice: …Yes!

Alice shot forward and wrench the book from Gareth's hand before skimming through it. As her eyes widened Blake walked off completely removing herself from the situation. Alice closed the book and peeled the front cover off to reveal another title underneath; Pillage, Plunder and Love.

Gareth: …I was just…holding it for-

Gareth whipped around looking for Blake before growling.

Alice: This is pure blackmail gold.

As she skimmed through it giggling to herself her bag slowly ripped open and a book bounced out before landing at Gareth's feet.

Alice: Ah! No!

Gareth: What's this?

Gareth snatched it up and scanned the title.

Gareth: The innocent boy and the experienced woman…

Alice: …Let's just agree to keep this secret…and move on.

Gareth nodded before they both slowly exchanged books and backed away from each other slowly maintaining skeptic eye contact.

 **Remodeling**

Weiss and Lily rushed around Team RWBY's room cleaning fervently; Weiss was vacuuming the rug as Lily made the beds and replaced the covers with clean ones. As she lied down Ruby's new sheets a snap could be heard before the bed slammed down and sent Lily crashing into the other bunk beds making them fall apart and making both top bunks crash to the ground.

Weiss: Lily!

Lily: Ow.

Weiss: What happened?

Lily: Your bunk beds fell apart. Why are they set up like that?

Weiss: Ugh, it was Ruby's idea.

Lily: But still, there are better ways to do that…what about your ice powers?

Weiss thought for a moment before they placed the beds in place and she created ice beams to keep them in place.

Weiss: It's…elegant.

Lily: And efficient.

Ruby & Yang: Bonzai!

Ruby and Yang burst through the room door and jumped onto their upper bunks making the ice shatter and smashing the upper beds into the lower ones completely destroying the lower beds.

Weiss: My bed!

Lily: Then again…I forgot to account for the wild factor.

 **Dogs and Cats**

Soren and Gareth walked down the hall with a large bag before moving into Team RWBY's room and setting it down making everybody turn to them.

Gareth: The festival was awesome!

Soren: We won everything!

Yang: How did you pull that off?

Soren: We owe Nora quite a bit.

Gareth: Yeah but she got banned so they gave us all her prizes.

Alice: So what did you get?

Soren: Most of it was basic carnival junk. Goldfish, cheap stuffed animals and the like.

Soren riffled through the bag before he pulled out a Pyrrha doll and stared at it quizzically. Gareth pulled the string on the back.

Pyrrha Doll: I'm Sorry.

Soren shrugged before tossing it in the pile and reaching back into the bag.

Soren: Oh cool! Gareth, come here!

Gareth moved in and Soren handed him something before they both snapped on a mask and turned around to reveal Soren wearing a cat mask as Gareth wore a dog mask.

Gareth: What do you think!?

Blake hissed before leaping out the open window as Zwei growled and leapt at Soren sending them both tumbling out of the room.

Soren: NO! DOWN BOY! HEEL! HEEEEEEEL!

 **Clear your mind**

Ren and Lily sat cross legged at a pond as they both took deep, calming breaths as the bugs and crickets made various noises around them.

Ren: Clear your mind.

Lily: And clear your soul.

The sounds dissipated from their ears and they both seemed to float in the center of the universe.

Ren: I feel…peaceful…

Lily: Yeah…so do I…

Gareth: I wonder if ducks hate books.

Lily: NOT MY JOURNAL!

Lily scrambled up and rushed off after Gareth.

Ren: …Peaceful…

Nora: Hey Ren! I found a false floorboard under your bed! And there's this weird box with a triple X logo.

Ren: NORA, DON'T TOUCH THAT BOX!

Ren shot up and rushed across the field towards the dorms.

 **Flu Buddies**

Soren and Ruby were lying in the same bed in Team RWBY's room as they groaned; they were each slightly red and were wearing ice bags on their foreheads.

Ruby: Uuggh…

Soren: You said it.

Alice approached the bed with two bowls of hot soup on a tray.

Alice: Seriously. While everyone was getting flu shots you two just had to go and play 'who can survive in the freezer the longest' didn't you?

Ruby & Soren: I won.

They both looked at each other with wide eyes before Alice hit both of them.

Alice: Knock it off! Now drink your soup.

She set the tray down and Soren picked up the spoon as Ruby broke open the saltine packet.

Ruby: Wait…where's the milk?

Alice: Milk!? You want to gunk up the works even more!?

Yang: I've got it!

Yang slid in next to Alice and placed a glass of milk next to Soren and Ruby's soup bowl.

Alice: Are you insane!?

Yang: What? This is what our dad did when we were sick.

Yang stretched up and placed a motivational poster above the bed; it had Cinder looking over a ruined Vale cackling maniacally as it burned to the ground with the title 'You can do it!' underneath it.

Yang: I also have your favorite video game and a copy of your favorite comic books.

Soren: Camp Camp!

Yang: You know it!

Ruby: Yes!

Alice: This is ridiculous.

Soren took a long drink of milk and snuggled into the bed with a content sigh.

Soren: This is nice.

Ruby: Welcome to the Rose and Xiao Long way of recovery.

Soren: I always want to be sick with you.

Ruby: And I you…you gonna eat your crackers?

Alice: You're both morons.

 **Jokes from a true pro**

Gareth stood on a wooden stage with a microphone stand up to his mouth as he held a small stack of flash cards. The rest of the group sat at the tables all waiting for Gareth to start his act.

Sun: Why are we back here? Didn't we get it bad enough from Yang!?

Alice: Because it's Gareth. Odds are he'll have better material.

Yang: I can hear you!

Sun: Then get better material!

Soren: I didn't know Gareth had any jokes.

Lily: Apparently he took a few lessons in joke telling.

Blake: Please tell me it wasn't from Yang.

Lily: No…I can't exactly remember their name.

Gareth: Alright folks, it's good to see so many familiar faces out here! You know I don't normally do the shopping but one time I went to the grocery store for some milk and the cashier asked if I'd like it in the bag…I told him no, just leave it in the carton.

A collective groan washed over the group.

Sun: Come on man!

Gareth: But I didn't just go there for milk. I also had to pick up some noodles. I couldn't find any real noodles though; everything they had was just an impasta.

Alice: Boo!

Gareth: Although I suppose it's better than what happened to the coffee section, I hear they got mugged.

Lily: Please stop.

Gareth: Now that I think about it, I probably should have just left after the milk. I ended up stepping on a grape and it gave out a little wine.

Yang: Ha!

Alice: Shut it Yang! Who taught you!?

Gareth: Quiet in the front row! Now I want to give a big shout out to my mentor, Tai Xiao Long!

Tai burst from the back of the club and walked up to the stage as everyone booed and heckled him.

Tai: Thanks Gareth. You know, I had my own material to present tonight.

Gareth: Really?

Tai: Yeah, I came here on my bike so I was 'cycling' through all my jokes…but none of them seemed right.

Gareth: Then I guess you decided to 'brake'?

Suddenly a can was thrown at Gareth.

Alice: GET OFF THE STAGE!

Tai: I'd be careful if I were you. If you did that at your job you'd get 'canned'!

Soren lunged and grabbed Alice as she almost burst from her seat towards the stage.

Soren: You might want to run!

Yang got up from her seat and jumped on stage and pulled a side lever opening up a trap door under all three of them making them all fall through.

Yang: Out with a Yang!

 **Favorite Flavor**

Soren walked down the city streets as the hot, humid air beat down on him without any mercy. He wiped his brow before hearing the jingle of an ice cream truck and turning to see it slowly approaching him.

Soren: Oh thank god! Stop! I want to buy ice cream!

The truck came to a stop and the vendor opened the side window before whipping out the different flavors of ice cream he served. Before Soren could order he suddenly heard someone panting behind him and looked to see Neo crouched over and breathing heavily as her cheeks had a dark red color.

Soren: Neo? What happened to you?

She immediately pointed at the truck while glaring at the truck owner.

Soren: You were chasing after the truck?

She nodded.

Soren: …Might have helped if you had called out to the truck.

Neo gave him a mean glare.

Soren: Right…anyway, I'll have a plain vanilla and…what would you like Neo?

Neo smiled widely at Soren's offer.

Neo: 'Neapolitan!'

Soren: That's how you spell your name?

Neo frowned and vigorously shook her head before smacking the sign.

Soren: Oh, that's not how you spell your name? I thought it had an O.

Neo gave a silent sigh and held up a picture of Neapolitan ice cream.

Soren: That's the ice cream you want?

Neo nodded.

Soren: Great, what flavor is it?

Neo stood there dumbfounded before hitting Soren with the sign making him fall to the ground before she stepped over him and held up the picture to the vendor. The man handed her a cone of vanilla and Neapolitan which she smiled in return handing a few lien to him from Soren's wallet. Neo dropped the wallet and vanilla cone on Soren's head before skipping away licking her ice cream happily.

 **Band Practice**

Alice and Lily were walking through the courtyard as birds and students made various noises around them.

Alice: And so I said, 'Maybe we shouldn't do this again.' Then we came back and spent the rest of the evening cleaning blood out of our clothes.

Lily: That explains the news report.

Suddenly a cord strum made both Alice and Lily vibrate slightly before they looked around in confusion.

Alice: What was that?

Lily: Sounded like an electric guitar.

Alice: Cranked up to eleven.

Both Lily and Alice gave a look of realization before rushing over to the large grass field to see Yang strumming on a guitar with Ruby, Weiss, Blake and Nora all fiddling with their own instruments.

Lily: It was Yang.

Alice: What are you five doing?

Ruby: We've formed a girl band for the battle of the bands.

Lily: Oh yeah, there were leaflets for that in the halls.

Yang: Well we're the Yangtastics!

Weiss: That's not the final name.

Blake: Anyone else want to take the tambourine?

Alice: …Why is Tai here?

Alice motioned to the spot where Tai had set up a tripod camera and had it pointed directly at the band.

Tai: Like I'm going to miss out on my little girl's first band rehearsal.

Alice: You're like every embarrassing dad rolled into one.

Yang: It's true.

Tai: Well too bad.

He reached up and hit the record button on the camera.

Tai: Now go ahead sweetie…Ruby, don't pick your nose.

Ruby: Sorry.

Nora: Come on, let's start! A five, six, seven eight!

Yang gave a single strum and everyone expect Yang lifted off the ground before falling onto their backs.

Alice: Stop that!

Yang: I can't help it. My rock has to be epic!

Alice: It's too loud! Turn it down!

Lily: Hmmm…

Lily fiddled with the knob on the amp before nodding.

Lily: There, that's loud enough to…'rock' and you won't turn the academy into a school for the deaf.

Yang: Wow, not bad…hey guys. I think I found our manager.

Lily: What!?

Alice: Have fun.

Alice quickly speed walked away leaving Lily dumfounded.

Yang: Here's the invoice for my soundwave damages.

Lily looked it over before her eyes went wide.

Lily: Is…is it too late to say no?

 **Flu Buddies 2**

Alice gave a sniffle as she lied in bed with Weiss next to her also looking haggard and sick with both their hair uncombed and slightly rustled.

Soren: Man, how did you two get sick?

Alice and Weiss glared at him.

Soren: Right…thanks for taking care of us by the way. Ruby would be here but…

Weiss: It's probably better she isn't. Her methods are…strange. You got my list right?

Soren: Yep.

Soren reached down and pulled up a bag before opening it.

Soren: Cold medicine, nose spray, ice packs in an ice box, and cough lozenges.

Alice: At least you understand the finer points of medicine.

Weiss: Of course. I am not an idiot.

Soren: I got better didn't I?

Alice: No, it just transferred.

Weiss: What about the rest?

Soren: Oh…um…okay. Here's the coffee pot, beans and mugs.

Alice: Coffee sounds perfect.

Weiss: Right? They all called me crazy.

Alice: Are you kidding!? Coffee is great for colds.

Soren: And you called Ruby and me freaks.

 **Getting the band together**

Pyrrha strolled through the hall humming to herself as a guitar cord suddenly strummed through the air making her jump and look around frantically. She opened the nearby door to see Gareth sitting in the classroom and tuning an electric guitar.

Pyrrha: Gareth?

Gareth: Huh? Oh, hey Pyrrha.

Pyrrha: What are you doing in here?

Gareth: Holding rehearsal for my band.

Pyrrha looked around finding the room lacking in any bandmates.

Pyrrha: Um…

Gareth: I know, I need other people for my band but I can't find anyone to join me. Soren can't play an instrument, Lily is managing Ruby's band and Alice won't even try it.

Pyrrha: Well…I'll join your band!

Gareth gave a long inhale as his eyes got wider.

Gareth: Really!?

Pyrrha: Sure. Although the only musical instrument I know is clarinet.

Gareth: That's fine. I barely know the guitar!

Pyrrha: What?

Gareth: Let's do this!

Gareth gave a long strum across the guitar making the room shake before the door burst open with Yang on the other side.

Yang: Hey! That's my shtick Gareth!

 **Window watching**

Alice, Lily and team RWBY all sat in their room relaxing. Blake sat on her bunk reading her new book while Weiss studied with Lily; Alice was busy playing games with Ruby and Yang sat looking out the window with a pair of binoculars.

Alice: Come on…yes, super combo!

Ruby: What!? How did you pull that off!?

Alice: Don't underestimate me Rose.

Weiss: Hmm…what is with Professor Peach and these grimm studies?

Lily: It's always the most obscure things too. Remember the sap thing?

Weiss: Don't remind me.

Blake: …

Yang: …Come on boys; that's long enough in the showers.

Weiss: Yang what are you doing?

Yang: I found out you can see into the boy's locker room window from our room.

Alice: You're kidding right?

Yang: Nope. In fact…if I angle myself correctly…I can see a small area of the showers.

Weiss: Yang, don't be creepy.

Ruby: All you're going to see is shadowy figures anyway. I swear, shadow people are three fourths of our society.

Yang: …Hang on! I've got actual boy in my sights!

Lily: Really? Who?

Yang: I…can't tell. But based on the hair…it's either Soren or-

Before she could finish her though both Weiss and Alice had pulled her out of the way and were looking intently through the binoculars.

Alice: …

Weiss: …

Alice: …I think it's him.

Weiss: …Let's make double sure it's him.

Alice: Let's make triple sure…j-just for security purposes.

Weiss: R-Right…quadruple sure.

Yang: Can I have my binoculars back?

Alice & Weiss: NO!

 **King of Games**

Ozpin and Soren sat across from each other with a chess board in between them. The board was set up with Ozpin being reduced to a corner spot with only his king left while Soren had all his pieces with four pawns turned into queens. Soren picked up one of his queens and put it into position right across from his king.

Soren: Checkmate.

Ozpin: How did you achieve such a ruthless victory?

Soren: Well…not to be mean but…my pieces were working in a pretty obvious pattern while you focused on my constantly moving knight you couldn't even catch…it wasn't going well for you since the beginning .

Ozpin: I figured without the knight you wouldn't be able to make any crafty moves without me noticing.

Soren: …You're not very good at chess are you?

Ozpin: Unfortunately.

Soren: …This puts any tactical decisions you've made into major questioning.

Ozpin: Now, now Soren. I may not be good at chess but I'm no fool.

Feeling a tap on his shoulder Ozpin turned around to see Cinder behind him.

Cinder: Excuse me headmaster but where are all your dangerous artifacts and doomsday weapons?

Ozpin: They're in the faculty building. Here's the key.

Cinder: Thank you.

Ozpin: Be safe.

With that Cinder walked away as Ozpin turned back to Soren.

Soren: …I think I'll start working on a makeshift bomb shelter.

 **Picture Perfect**

Velvet sat in the courtyard with Lily as Velvet swiped through various pictures she'd taken of people's weapons. She scrolled from Soren's Twin Soul to Alice's Enchantress to Gareth's Earthbreaker and finally on Lily's Reaper.

Lily: So that camera can recreate matter it captured?

Velvet: Yep, I can recreate any weapon I've taken a picture of. And their weightless on top of that.

Lily: That's amazing…hey, what if you tried recreating a person from a picture?

Velvet: I…actually don't know…I've never tried it.

Lily: This sounds like a good experiment opportunity!

Velvet: Well, let's see if I can even pull it off…hmm.

Velvet fiddled with the camera settings making the recreation machine glitch and fritz before it closed completely.

Velvet: I think I've got it!

Lily: Perfect! Who should we recreate?

Velvet: Hmm…how about…Gareth?

Lily: Sure. That should be simple.

Velvet pressed a button on her box making it pop open before a holo-image of Gareth showed up. With another press of the button it dropped to the ground and Lily led it by the hand as it stepped forward.

Lily: This is amazing…

Gareth2: What's happening?

Velvet: It's sentient!?

Gareth2: …I sense another me out there…

Lily: …And?

Gareth2: I have to destroy him.

With that declaration the dopple-Gareth rushed off towards the dorm at breakneck speed. Suddenly a crash could be heard followed by a scream.

Gareth: This is new! I've never had to fight my double to the death before!

Lily: Gareth!

With a worried look Lily rushed towards the dorm as Velvet gave a long sigh.


	3. Chapter 3

**Rooming Problems**

Soren gave a long yawn as he slowly made his way to the dorm living room. Upon entering it he stopped and looked with a cocked eyebrow at the set of new people that had taken up space around the area. At the table sat two men; one with blonde hair and a cheery disposition, the other with black hair and a cool look to his entire attire. Nearby, Weiss was fawning over a woman who looked similar to herself; the only difference being that she wore military attire and had a cold frown.

Soren: What is happening here?

Ruby: Soren!

Soren: Morning Ruby, who are these people?

Ruby: What!? You don't remember Uncle Qrow!?

Soren looked back at the three and focused in on the black-haired man.

Soren: Oh yeah…what about the rest of them?

Ruby: That's my dad Tai.

Ruby pointed to the blonde man.

Ruby: And that's Weiss's sister.

She pointed to the woman sitting calmly as Weiss smiled widely.

Soren: Geez, it's creepy to see Weiss have such a Ruby-esque smile.

Ruby: It does seem wrong…come on!

Ruby yanked at Soren's arm leading him to the table where Tai and Qrow were sitting.

Ruby: Dad, this is Soren.

Tai gave Soren a big smile.

Tai: Hey kiddo! I hear you're roommates with my girls.

Soren cocked his eyebrow at this.

Soren: …yeah, I am.

Tai: Then I'll give you some advice.

Tai stood up and his face became slightly darker making Soren shiver.

Tai: You might want to move to your locker before your put in the hurt 'locker'.

Soren: Was that supposed to be a joke?

Tai: No.

An uncomfortable silence followed as Soren turned to Qrow who just shrugged before going back to his flask.

Soren: …I'm gonna leave now.

Soren quickly walked away from the table as Ruby followed.

Ruby: Sorry about that.

Soren: Believe it or not, that's not the first father who wanted me dead for being near their daughter.

Weiss: Soren!

Weiss zipped over and snatched Soren up, bringing him to the woman on the couch.

Weiss: You remember Winter right?

Soren: Oh yeah, nice to see you again Winter.

Weiss shot Soren a cold look making his back tense.

Winter: …Get out of my sister's room.

Soren: You're much more blunt than Tai is.

 **Matches Never Seen**

Jaune collided with the ground as Weiss gave a bow, finishing the practice match.

Glynda: The match is over, Weiss is the winner.

Weiss: Of course I am.

Soren: And so humble.

Weiss shot a glare at Soren who chuckled.

Jaune slowly got back up and sat next to the rest of the group looking distraught.

Jaune: 'Sigh' I can't get a break.

Lily: Maybe you just need a switch up on who you face.

Ren: Your skills might be good against Velvet.

Soren: Nope, her copycat ability is overpowered.

Alice: How about sparring against a teammate?

Gareth slammed his desk with inspiration making Lily jump.

Gareth: That's it! Those are the matches we'll never see!

Blake: Team sparring?

Weiss: That's not true, I spar with my team some times.

Pyrrha: and I train Jaune.

Gareth: Yeah but I'm talking a serious fight…you think you could handle that?

Pyrrha thought for a moment before going wide-eyed.

Pyrrha: I don't want to kill him!

Jaune: Is your confidence in me that low!?

Nora: I'm up for it!

Ren: No, you can't hold back.

Nora: Yes I can!

Nora slammed her fist on her desk and put a hole through the wood making everyone slide away from her.

 **Journals**

Blake sat at her desk in her dorm room, tapping her pencil against the blank page of a journal.

Blake: 'Sigh'

As she sat there, Lily passed by the open door making Blake stop and move towards her.

Blake: Lily.

Lily stopped.

Lily: Yes Blake?

Blake: You're a professional when it comes to writing a journal right?

Lily: W-Well I wouldn't say expert…but I do write frequently.

Blake led her into the room and pulled up a chair for Lily to sit in next to her.

Blake: I was thinking of keeping a journal but I'm not sure how to start it.

Lily: Journals are written memories. Just start from the day you get it.

Blake: When did you start yours?

Lily pulled out her journal and set it on the desk.

Lily: I started when I was about…five.

Blake: That journal doesn't look very thick.

Lily: Oh no, this is volume seventy-eight.

Blake: …I don't think I have that kind of commitment.

 **Cape Debacle**

Alice stepped into Team RWBY's room and heard a chocked voice. She looked over in shock to see Ruby hanging from her bed by her cape.

Ruby: Help…

Alice: Oh my god!

Alice quickly moved over and unclipped Ruby, making her fall to the ground with a thud.

Alice: How long were you hanging there!?

Ruby: About…ten minutes?

Alice: You've got to fix your cape. This is the third time it's almost killed you!

Ruby: Never! My cape is awesome! There is no flaw!

As she said that her stomach gave out a low grumble.

Ruby: I'm hungry, let's go get food.

Alice: 'sigh' fine.

As Ruby walked away, Alice walked behind her before stepping on her cape, making her slip onto her face.

Ruby: Ow…

Alice: Oops…

Ruby: Maybe I could shorten it a little.

Alice: That's probably for the best.

 **Intelligence, the ultimate mood killer**

Alice and Weiss stood at the school notice board and scanned over the results from yesterdays tests. At the top five spots were Blake, Pyrrha, Alice and Weiss with Soren at the top of the board.

Alice and Weiss: …Impossible.

Alice: How did he beat us!?

Weiss: I know, I didn't even study with him…did you?

Alice: No! In fact…he said he wanted to study on his own…

As they contemplated, Soren walked up behind them and scanned his eyes over the grades.

Soren: Hey, first in the class!

Weiss: How did you do that?

Alice: You fell asleep last class!

Soren: Oh, well I wanted to show you guys I could still retain the knowledge even without your help. So I studied my butt off for this! Pretty impressive right?

Alice and Weiss looked at each other in worry.

Alice: I mean…yeah…

Weiss: It is impressive…but…

Both of them moved in closer to each other to whisper.

Weiss: Is it just me…or is Soren being smart kind of weird?

Alice: Oh thank god…I thought it was just me.

Soren: You know, I think I'll study by myself from now on, I seem to do well.

Both Alice and Weiss went wide eyed before Alice grabbed him by his collar and shook him vigorously.

Alice: You are never studying alone, got it!? You're either studying with me or Weiss!

Soren: Ah! Why!?

Alice: DO NOT QUESTION ME!

Weiss: Yeah, don't question her!

 **Junior Detective Lesson 2**

The detective trio sat in the darkened interrogation room; Sun and Neptune adjusted their mustaches as Soren stroked his full beard.

Sun: We told you to get a mustache!

Soren: I can't pull off a mustache, but a beard…that has style.

Neptune: Alright, time for your next lesson.

Sun: We're going to run an interrogation scenario. We're pretty sure she did it to, so just get her to confess.

The door opened and Alice walked in before sitting down on the chair across the table from the trio.

Alice: Why am I here?

Soren slammed his hands on the table.

Soren: I think we both know why you're here.

Alice just stared blankly at Soren who started to sweat before moving back to Sun and Neptune.

Soren: She's a tough nut to crack.

Sun: Than it's time to hit her with the facts.

Soren: Right!

Soren moved back over and threw a folder onto the table.

Soren: The elusive cookie thief has been a thorn in our side for weeks; and we know it's you!

Alice: …You're joking right?

Soren: Not at all, the cookie thief was last seen running into the girl's locker room. And I know for a fact that during the time they were in there, you were also there!

Alice went wide eyed before slamming her hands onto the table hard enough to make it shake.

Alice: And how exactly do you know that!?

Soren: …

A buzzing sound made Soren jump as Sun answered his walkie-talkie.

Sun: …Gotcha! The thief was spotted downtown. We'll go check it out, you stay here Soren!

Neptune and Sun bolted for the door as Alice maintained eye contact on Soren who stood completely still; Alice slowly cracked her knuckles.

Alice: Shut the door on your way out. I think I need to INTERROGATE someone.

 **The chefs poison**

Weiss, Alice and Winter sat at a well presented restaurant table, enjoying the clean air and smell of food that engulfed their senses.

Winter: Ah, a very refined establishment. There silverware placement is exquisite as well.

Weiss: They've even placed a soup chunk fork.

Alice: That seems like overkill for forks.

Winter: It is one of the more refined forks to use…only for your soups chunkier extras of course.

Alice: Of…course.

As they talked, Cinder and Roman stood in the kitchen of the building, looking through a cracked door at the three guests.

Cinder: Alright, this plan is full proof!

Roman: Yes! A full course meal that will leave them bloated and unable to fight back. It's brilliant!

Cinder: No you fool! We poison their meals!

Roman: Oh…well you might have wanted to say something before the meal was made.

Neo stood next to him holding the full meal and Cinder groaned.

Cinder: At least tell me the dessert isn't prepared yet.

Roman: Not yet.

Cinder: Excellent!

Cinder pulled out a small tube and handed it to Roman.

Cinder: Add this to it and they'll be dead before they know what's happening.

Roman: But-

Cinder: No buts!

After a few minutes Neo held out a closed tray and Cinder nodded before Neo rushed out and delivered the dessert to the girls.

Cinder: Alright…time for my nefarious scheme to pay off.

Cinder turned back to the table and was surprised to find the girls desserts cleaned from their plates. She stood confused at the girls making small talk until Neo brought them the check.

Cinder: …Why aren't they dead!? Roman, didn't you add the frosting!?

Roman: To flan? Are you crazy?

Cinder: Flan!? I told you, we can't booby-trap flan!

As they bickered, Alice, Weiss and Winter left the restaurant looking content.

Alice: Not bad at all.

Weiss: The dinner was sub-par.

Winter: The flan was too sweet.

Roman looked disgruntled as Cinder clenched her teeth and Neo puffed up her cheeks.

Roman: How dare they mock my cooking.

Neo: 'How dare they mock MY flan!'

Cinder gripped both of them by the collar.

Cinder: HOW DARE THEY BE ALIVE!

 **A lean mean kickball machine!**

Ruby, Yang, Lily and Gareth all sat on a bench off from a dodgeball field. They were going up against Mercury, Emerald, and two grim wolves.

Gareth: Man, we're getting our butts handed to us.

Lily: This is impossible! They keep getting full scores every time Mercury kicks!

The score was currently 15 – 6.

Yang: Man, this is no fun. I'm supposed to be the heavy hitter.

Ruby: Is it just me, or is the ball disappearing suddenly and then appearing too close to kick?

Gareth: I thought that was just me!

Lily: Alright…if we can just make up nine points then we can win this…but that means we have to be perfect!

Gareth: Or, we pull a move I like to call, the Tonya Harding

A dark smile came over Gareth's face and Yang started chuckling.

Yang: I don't know what it is but I like it!

Lily: Gareth, no. We just have to be better than them…I know what to do.

After a full turn it was Mercury's turn to kick. Gareth held the ball confidently and gave Mercury a toothy grin.

Mercury: Someone looks ready to lose.

Gareth: Yeah, you!

Mercury: Oh yeah, well that's not how this works. We'll win and you'll-

Ruby: You suck Mercury!

Mercury: What the?

Over in the bleachers sat Ruby who held a veritable pile of anti-Mercury paraphernalia in her clutches.

Ruby: You couldn't hit the broad side of a barn! I bet those grim hit harder than your mother!

Mercury: What does that even mean?

Gareth sent the ball forward and past the plate.

Yang: Strike one!

Mercury: Hey! I wasn't ready!

Gareth: Really? Seemed pretty ready from all that boasting you did.

Mercury: Alright then. Bring it on! I'll dish back whatever you throw!

A short cough broke the air and Mercury looked to see Penny standing next to Ruby in the bleachers.

Penny: I predict a ninety-six percent chance that you will suck at dodgeball Mercury.

Mercury: That number is totally blown out of proportion!

Another ball rushed past Mercury.

Yang: Strike two!

Mercury: Oh come on!

Gareth: I dunno. That number seemed spot on.

Mercury: Then bring it! I'll kick that ball into space!

Ruby: You couldn't beat Nora's grandma!

Lily: That's more a fact than a statement.

Gareth sent the ball rolling.

Mercury: Let's see her do this!

Mercury swung his foot kicking the ball which was followed by gun shot as the ball flew into the air before lazily gliding back to the ground as a flattened mess. The catcher removed his mask to reveal Qrow.

Qrow: That's a disqualification.

Emerald: Ugh, again Mercury!?

Mercury: Come on. I didn't do it…intentionally.

 **Detective Training Lesson 2**

Soren, Sun and Neptune all stood inside the local outlet clothing store, 'where clothes go to die'.

Sun: Alright rookie, clothes make the man!

Neptune: And since you refuse to wear a mustache we have to go this route.

Soren: Then why are we at an outlet store?

Neptune: Detectives don't get paid a lot.

Soren: What? Sun told me the pay is high.

Neptune: Yeah, but the initiation monthly cost is outrageous!

Soren just stood in amazement as Neptune began browsing old coats.

Soren: …Sun, you're truly a devious monkey.

Sun just chuckled with a smile in response. All of them went to work at picking out an outfit for Soren.

Soren: Man…all of these clothes suck.

Neptune: Yeah…everything at most outlet stores clash…it really sucks…guess you'll have to go with the mustache.

Soren: How 'intently' you worked before offering that.

A knock on the clear window caught Soren's attention. He looked to see Pyrrha waving to him before he beckoned her in.

Pyrrha: Hello!

Soren: Hey Pyrrha.

Pyrrha: What are you doing here?

Soren: Trying to find a detective fashion.

Pyrrha: That sounds delightful.

Sun: Hey rookie, who are you-

Sun gasped before moving forward and shoving his finger in Pyrrha's face.

Sun: You've got a lot of nerve stepping in on my turf Nikos.

Pyrrha turned around and turned back with a mustache on her face.

Pyrrha: From what I can tell. This case is above your paygrade.

Sun: How dare you. We are the only ones who can do this!

Soren: This isn't even a case.

Sun: Wrong rookie!

Pyrrha: Everything is a case.

Soren: …Intense.

Neptune: I found it!

Neptune pulled out a full suite covered in bright, shining colors that were blinding in the right light.

Soren: Ah! It burns!

Sun: Dude! It's for a detective, not a disco!

Pyrrha reached onto a shelf and pulled off a deerstalker hat, placing it gently on Soren's head.

Pyrrha: Personally, I find that the simplest answers are sometimes the right ones.

Soren: 'Gasp' It's perfect.

Sun: I-I could have recommended a sherlock hat too!

Pyrrha: It's formally known as a deerstalker hat.

Soren looked at both Pyrrha and Sun for a moment.

Soren: …I think she might be the better detective.

Sun: Traitor!

Neptune: …I'm keeping the suit.

 **Is mindless sound music?**

Gareth and Pyrrha sat in an empty classroom waiting for someone to show up before Oobleck zipped in and stood at the chalkboard.

Oobleck: Good evening class!

Pyrrha: Hello Doctor Oobleck.

Gareth: Hey Oobleck.

Oobleck: Now, for our first lesson in proper instrument playing, we'll be going over maintenance of band equipment.

Gareth: But we came here to learn how to rock!

Oobleck: Well before you can rock, you have to be presentable…I fear I may be a bath or two too late for you though.

Gareth: Hey!

Pyrrha: You could use a cleaning.

Gareth: It's too soon to turn against me Pyrrha. We're not even famous enough for me to push you away because I'm wholesomely more talented and charming.

Pyrrha: …I think you might be starting early on that road.

Oobleck: Enough chit chat children! Get to cleaning!

Gareth and Pyrrha quietly worked at cleaning their instruments with Gareth running a wet rag over his electric guitar and Pyrrha doing the same with her clarinet.

Oobleck: If I might ask: what are you children planning to play with such contrasting instruments?

Gareth: I dunno…polka music?

Pyrrha: We haven't worked out the fine details yet.

Gareth: Or any details beyond 'rock out loud'!

Oobleck: Well…there's no harm in coming in last.

Gareth: There's a disturbing lack of faith in our band.

Pyrrha: Gareth, odds are we won't be the voice of a generation.

Gareth: Then…we'll be the most obnoxious band!

Pyrrha: I already don't like this idea.

Gareth: Pyrrha, please.

Pyrrha: Sorry.

Oobleck: That is more feasible…coincidentally, how do you feel about adding an accordion to the group?

Gareth gave a happy gasp as Pyrrha groaned.

Pyrrha: I hope this doesn't go on my permanent record.

Gareth: And I hope it does!

 **Childhood Memories**

Soren walked into team Rwby's dorm room carrying a particularly thick book which he plopped down on Weiss's desk.

Soren: Whew!

He looked over to see Weiss sitting on her bed with her sister Winter sitting on Blake's bed.

Weiss: What's that?

Soren: No clue. But I'm pretty sure it's yours.

Winter: And why would it be for her?

Soren: Well for one thing, it's titled 'Weiss's photo collection'.

Weiss: Oh! It must be from home…but who sent it?

Winter: Ah yes, I had Klein deliver them to you after father was on the hunt for compromising photos to destroy.

Soren: That sounds extreme.

Weiss: You've never met my father.

She flipped over the first page to reveal a very dignified picture of Weiss when she was five, wearing a very pretty dress and giving the camera a simple look of dignity.

Soren: Ah yes…the compromising picture of a child who looks ready to talk business with a financial company. How is this compromising?

Winter: That's just a decoy photo.

Winter pulled out the photo to reveal one of Weiss in the same dress but giving a big smile and reaching out to the camera.

Soren: Wow, that's a hell of a decoy…she's so cute.

Weiss quickly snatched the picture and put it away giving a slight whimper.

Winter: Klein truly was a master at photography.

Soren started flipping through the album, discarding of all the dud pictures which Winter quickly organized into a separate pile.

Soren: Man, it's weird to see Weiss have such a big smile…without these you'd never believe she had dimples.

Soren was met with a swift slap to the back of her head slamming it into the desk at which Soren just bounced back and continued to shift through the book.

Soren: Gotta try harder then that to put me down.

With a quick flip of a page Soren gave a big smile and let out an audible aww.

Soren: It's a picture of baby Weiss in the tub!

Weiss: AHHHH!

With lighting speed, Weiss pulled the album from Soren's hands and cracked it against the back of his head knocking him out instantly.

Winter: Very effective little sister.

Weiss: For the first time in my life, I might agree with father on destroying these pictures.

 **Pure Unadulterated History**

Ruby and Penny sat in the library, using one of the school computers. Ruby gave surprised gasp as Penny's fingers typed across the keyboard with the speed to rival a bullet train. Windows after windows popped up and closed to the point the information didn't even finish loading on screen by the time she was done.

Ruby: Are you almost done?

Penny: Almost. The firewalls and information sensitive locks are more varied than difficult…but they are no match for my super brain!

The sounds of keyboard clicking caught the attention of Lily and Yang who walked up to the two girls and were surprised as Penny made a final click and sat back.

Penny: Done!

Yang: What did you two do now?

Ruby: Nothing, just got access to everyone's history!

Lily gave an excited gasp rushing past Penny and pulling out her journal.

Lily: So much personal information!

Yang: So much blackmail!

Lily: What were you even going to do with this info?

Penny: I was hoping to use this to effectively become better friends with everyone.

Ruby: And I like seeing Penny do cool things.

Yang: How would you even use this for making friends?

As they talked, Blake passed by making Penny stand up.

Penny: Like so…Blake!

Blake took her face out of her book to turn to the group.

Blake: Yes Penny?

Penny: Are you enjoying your copy of 'Ninja of Love 2: The frisky sword in the loving sheath'?

Blake went completely red at this comment and shrieked as she worked to cover Penny's mouth.

Blake: I haven't even told anybody that! How did you find out!?

Penny: I am just that good of a friend.

Penny gave off a very big smile but Blake just shivered in fear.

Blake: …What do you want to keep quiet?

Penny: Excuse me?

Yang: That's good unintentional blackmail.

Lily: There's a lot of disturbing fanfiction searches in Soren's history.

Yang: And there's what I need!

 **The next victim**

Nora sat in class at her desk chair leaning back and playing with paper airplanes. Next to her sat her team who looked like they belonged in a morgue with how many bandages each of them was wearing.

Jaune: Everything hurts…I can't move.

Soren: I'm honestly shocked you made it to class.

Nora: These chumps couldn't handle my daily routine.

Ren: I'll agree with that…although I'm positive most people don't wrestle grim for a cooldown.

Nora: Come on, that's legitimate.

Alice: No, it's not.

Weiss: What kind of monster is she?

Yang: An inhuman one.

Pyrrha: Jaune…can we just go back to our training?

Nora: Not until you make it through the six month service.

Ren: I told BOTH of you not to sign it.

As everyone groaned Gareth burst into class and took his seat next to Lily.

Gareth: Made it!

Alice: Barely.

Gareth: Still made it…what's wrong with them?

Soren: Nora's training regimen.

Gareth: Oooh! Intense.

Nora set down her paper plane and rushed over to Gareth's seat and slammed a small stack of papers onto the table.

Nora: Well…if you're up for it I have a free spot open for my program. The first week is free and then it's a monthly subscription which can be paid in advance.

Blake: …I didn't know Nora was business save.

Weiss: Somebody probably taught her.

Everyone turned to Pyrrha who would have slinked into her seat if she could move at all.

Nora: And for a bonus, here's a word from a satisfied customer!

Nora whipped over and grabbed Ruby by her cape.

Nora: How about a word?

Ruby: Don't do it! She steals cookies!

Nora: Ignore that, now I've got a special-

Ren: He's already signed it.

Nora looked down to see Gareth's hasty signature on the dotted line.

Soren: Dude…are you crazy?

Gareth: I'm always up for a challenge.

Lily: This might qualify more as a death waver though.

Nora: Let's get started then! First lesson: Boulder defense.

Gareth: If it's what I think it is, this is going to be awesome!

Gareth and Nora jumped up and left the classroom, ignoring the teacher who was screaming at them to come back. After a few seconds Alice turned to Soren.

Alice: We got life insurance on Gareth, right?


	4. Chapter 4

**Fastest Shot in Beacon**

Ruby and Soren stood across from each other as they stood in the courtyard of Beacon. A small crowd of students had gathered around and Nora could be seen collecting Lien from various people.

Nora: Place your bets! Who is the quickest shot of Beacon?

Soren stared down Ruby who set up her Crescent Rose Scythe with it's sniper rifle and pointed it squarely at Soren's chest. Soren pulled out one of his pistols and set in a new clip.

Gareth: Come on Soren! I've got a hundred Lien riding on this!

Nora: Alright, let's get started!

Soren took a deep breath, lining up his shot.

Nora: Ready…

Ruby gripped her gun tightly and focused.

Nora: And…

Both kept their eyes trained on the other, waiting for their signal.

Nora: Go!

Two gun shots were heard, one after the other followed by both Soren and Ruby dropping their weapons and shaking their hand.

Nora: And the winner is…Lily!"

Soren & Ruby: What!?

They looked over to see Lily and Alice on a high wall with Lily holding her rifle as Alice smirked and gave her a high five.

Gareth: …Is it too late to get my bet back?

 **My own club…with blackjack!**

Ruby, Yang and Nora as gave a long sigh as they slumped against the wall of their new fort, 'Fort No Boys!'.

Ruby: This'll show Port!

Yang: This fort is awesome!

Nora: I'll go grab the other girls!

As Nora bolted towards the dorm Soren and Alice approached the roughly made hut.

Alice: What is this?

Ruby: Welcome to the girls only club!

Yang: Otherwise known as the chick empire.

Soren: Is this to get back at Port?

Ruby: No comment.

Alice: Is that why this monstrosity of a structure exists?

Ruby: It's not that bad.

Soren: I can see a hole in the roof covered by a tarp.

Ruby: Critics.

Nora: Here it is!

Nora came up to the group with Weiss, Blake and Pyrrha following behind her.

Nora: The ultimate hangout.

Weiss: It looks like a ruined bomb shelter.

Soren: Thank you!

Ruby: This is why boys aren't allowed.

Pyrrha: I suppose a little work could spruce it up…I know where we could get a good deal on base board and two by fours.

Blake: And we could furnish it with a few comfortable chairs and a bookshelf…I know just the seller.

Yang: Alright, now it just needs a punching bag to be complete.

Weiss: No! We have to add in a little style. Proper colored paint and a welcome rug.

A throat clearing sound made everyone turn to see Glynda standing behind them.

Glynda: It would take you hours to add those editions…although I would not mind helping.

Soren: And what about me?

Everyone looked at Soren before Glynda swung her wand sending Soren flying and crashing into a nearby patch of grass.

Ruby: No boys allowed!

Soren: Ow…again…

 **Teacher's Aid**

Lily sat in the classroom next to Glynda as the rest of the class filed in and sat down at their desks.

Lily: Thank you for giving me this chance Miss Goodwitch.

Glynda: Think nothing of it. I've always wanted to pass on my teaching methods to a willing mind.

Lily: So what do you do first?

A small ruckus began to stir with the students. Glynda adjusted her glasses and snapped her wand against the desk making everyone go quiet.

Glynda: A show of power and force can quiet any room.

Lily: Show of power…

Lily watched intently as Glynda taught the class.

Glynda: Jaune!

Jaune shot up form his seat in a hurry.

Jaune: Y-Yes Miss Goodwitch!

Glynda: What is the proper use of a wooden spear against a flying grim.

Jaune: Um…jump and stab?

Jaune was forcefully put back into his seat by Glynda's power as she sighed.

Glynda: No, the proper use would be as a projectile. Now, who would like to tell me the fifty different uses for aura.

A silence fell over the class as Weiss and Pyrrha raised their hands.

Glynda: See, now I know who needs help and who doesn't with one method. I also now know who to reprimand for looking at a teacher inappropriately.

Glynda smacked her wand against her desk making some of the students jump and making Lily shiver.

Lily: I'm not sure I have the force…or toolkit to pull that off.

Glynda: All it takes is a little more confidence…and you'll acquire the tool kit in time.

Lily: …Thanks?

 **Fashion**

Team SAGL sat in a clothing store as Coco and Velvet skimmed through various shirts and coats.

Alice: So they helped you with your style?

Soren: Yep. I'd even go as far as to say that she has the best fashion sense in Beacon.

Gareth: I don't know…that beret doesn't seem very cool.

Coco: That's because you don't know anything about fashion.

Lily: It's true.

Gareth looked at Lily in surprise as she whistled innocently.

Alice: So why are we here?

Coco: I figured you could use some help on your outfits.

Alice: What's wrong with my outfit?

Coco: Well…let's just say your not turning any heads with that style.

At that comment Soren, Gareth and Lily all took a step away from Alice who glared at Coco.

Alice: Well, you're not doing any better with turtle neck and clashing black scarf.

Coco: Clashing!?

Velvet: Oh no.

Velvet quickly began pushing the others out the front door as Alice and Coco stared at each other hard enough to make a fire spark between their electric glares. Velvet kept pushing until they were across the street from the clothing store and pulled out her camera and took a picture of a blank wall.

Soren: What are you doing?

Velvet: One moment…

As Velvet's camera clicked, Alice and Coco could be heard arguing.

Alice: Oh, and here I thought you grabbed those clothes from a bargain bin at a donated clothing store!

Coco: THAT'S IT!

A virtual wall was put up from Velvet's camera as a large blast erupted from the clothing store sending chunks of debris flying along with an old man.

Lily: AH!

Gareth: What was that!?

Velvet: Coco…is very passionate about her clothing.

Soren: Really, I couldn't tell.

 **Wait…wait…weight…**

Gareth and Yang lifted weight side by side as Lily kept track of their reps.

Gareth: I'm at 200…what about…you?

Yang: Same…but I could easily…go another 200.

Lily: Remember, the first to hit 300 wins.

Gareth: Right, well this is…going to be a cake walk. I'll even speed up to get this over with quickly!

Yang: Like you'll even get the chance! Lily, punch me!

Lily: No cheating…a-and I wouldn't do that anyway.

Gareth and Yang went double speed as Lily worked on keeping track of their number of reps. Suddenly both Gareth and Yang stopped as they held the bars of weights above them with their arms outstretched.

Lily: …Are you two okay?

Gareth: Yeah…just taking it the extra mile and prolonging a rep.

Yang: Me too…don't want to be outdone by the loser.

Gareth: Just give me a minute…or two.

Lily: Can neither of you lower your arms?

Gareth: Ha! No…

Yang: Yeah, I'm fine…

Both of their arms were shaking uncontrollably as their confident smiles quivered.

Lily: 'Sigh' I'll go get the nurse.

Gareth: Yeah…she'll want to see this awesome display of manliness.

Yang: Or watch your humiliation…eventually.

 **Course Work**

Soren, Alice, and Lily sat in a fairly filled classroom with the chattering of the other students around them. All three of them were looking over a syllabus of the class with Alice looking confused.

Alice: The class of chill?

Soren: I think it means that we're going to learn how to calm down.

Lily: Or how to make ice.

Alice: But wouldn't that mean that this class is for the uptight?

Soren: You said it, not me.

Alice: What did you say?

?: Alright let's start class!

The voice cut the conversation as Tai came bursting through the door on a skateboard and crashed into the teacher's desk before landing on his face.

Lily: Um…are you okay sir?

Tai: I'm fine! Lesson one of being chill: don't sweat the small stuff.

Alice: Your forehead is bleeding.

Tai: Psh! Ain't nothing. Now let's get started. Everyone open up your books to chapter one.

?: Man, textbooks aren't chill.

Everyone turned to see Qrow walking into the classroom casually as he took a sip from his mug and made his way to the teacher's desk in no particular hurry.

Tai: There you are! Class has already started you know. A teacher should show up on time!

Qrow: You think coming to class on time is chill? Man, no wonder you suck at this. The ACTUAL first lesson is not to care what other people think.

Alice: What is happening?

Lily: This explains the second syllabus that I got handed.

Alice grabbed the syllabus from Lily and looked it over before growling.

Qrow: Now, everyone just sit around for an hour. Get comfortable and find your chill position.

Tai: No! Chill is a state of mind!

Alice slowly ripped up the syllabus papers and set them on the table before grabbing her bag.

Alice: Come on guys. This class is a joke.

Lily: But…the knowledge.

Alice: The only knowledge here is that they're stupid.

Soren: You guys go. I've got nowhere else to be so I'm fine.

Alice grabbed Soren by the back of his jacket collar.

Alice: and you need a tightening up class.

As Alice dragged Lily and Soren out of the classroom, Tai and Qrow looked over at them with Tai looking surprised and Qrow giving a small 'huh'.

Tai: Hey! Class isn't over…

Qrow: Good job kids.

Tai: At least make sure to do the homework.

Qrow: Make sure NOT to do the homework.

Tai: Stop undermining me!

Qrow: Stop overminding me.

 **Story Time**

Gareth sat in a large chair in the library as a group of students all sat around as he talked at great length about his adventures.

Gareth: And then: Wham! The giant plant was taken out.

Students: Oooooh!

Soren squirmed his way through the crowd, eventually making it to Gareth.

Soren: What's with the crowd?

Gareth: I'm telling our intrepid adventure stories.

Soren: You're keeping details confidential right?

Gareth: Of course. But the stories are still awesome!

Student: I liked the story where Gareth single handedly brought down a god!

Soren looked at Gareth who just chuckled as he backed away.

Soren: …You really need to learn to reel it in some times.

Gareth: What? They wanted an awesome true story!

Soren: Then don't lie.

Student: Does that mean the story of you getting caught in Weiss's nightgown isn't true?

Soren: …Yes…totally a lie.

Gareth: Heh…that's a classic.

Soren: And a LIE!

 **Comedy Gold**

Yang stood in her room taking a bow to herself as Weiss sat at her desk giving a low growl as Yang fiddled with a small remote.

Yang: Thank you, thank you. I truly am a comedy genius.

Weiss: Good. Now stop.

Yang: Stop depraving you of my comedy? If you insist. They say I'm a cut above the rest. But I'm not cold enough to be a cut!

Yang hit a button and a group of laughter could be heard from the remote.

Weiss: Seriously, why did Ruby buy you that thing?

Yang: Because she knows what her sister wants. Sorry if it presses your BUTTONS.

Yang pressed the button again and another track of laughter went off making Weiss groan and slam her head into her homework. Suddenly the door opened and Alice looked in.

Alice: I could sense the terrible jokes a mile away.

Weiss: She won't stop.

Yang: Of course I'm on a roll. It's why my motorcycle never stops.

Another laugh track followed by two groans.

Alice: I knew I'd have to use this eventually.

Alice hit the wall knocking a panel loose and revealing a lever which she pulled immediately. Underneath Yang a hole opened up and Yang winked.

Yang: Out with a Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaang!

Weiss: Where does that lead?

Alice: Does it matter?

Weiss: …I'm going to go destroy that remote.

Alice: I'll grab Nora's hammer.

 **The protagonist difference**

Soren and Jaune walked out of the library holding stacks of study material. Jaune stumbled slightly as he tried to balance the stack before Soren collapsed to the ground from the weight.

Soren: Too much work.

Jaune: Seriously. Why do we even need all this stuff?

Soren: Because Professor Peach is crazy! Look at this, 'Intro into the mind of a Grim.'

Jaune: 'The difference between claw strike and poison bee stings.'

Soren: 'Nature: Deadly or Super Deadly'

Jaune: Hang on, this one doesn't fit.

Soren looked over his shoulder with a confused look.

Soren: 'Protagonists: The difference between a survivor and a casualty.' That's…interesting.

Jaune flipped open to the first chapter and began to read.

Jaune: 'The most notable difference in a protagonist is there constant involvement in dangerous activities. In most cases this would result in extreme harm and death but in proximity to the protagonist seems to only result in minor wounds or cool battle scars.'

Soren: The book actually says cool.

The sound of an explosion brought them out of the book as Ruby came crashing into their comically large pile of books.

Soren: …What was the explosion?

Ruby calmly dusted herself off and sighed.

Ruby: Oh you know…just another exciting adventure.

Jaune: …Cool.

Soren: Was it dangerous.

Ruby: Yeah…had to fight a giant mutated grim scorpion by myself.

Soren: …And you survived?

Ruby: Oh yeah, it was no problem. I even walked away with a cool scar!

Ruby lifted up her shirt to reveal a scar on her stomach in the form of a Nevermore.

Soren: How…what!?

Jaune: Scars don't get cooler than that.

Ruby: Yeah…anyway, I'm gonna head to the cafeteria.

As she walked away Soren was still in shock while Jaune looked back into the book.

Jaune: 'Side-characters come in two categories; supporting and sacrificial. In either case, this means that you are more likely to end up dead than seeing a bright future. Although, sacrifice is usually only a one in twelve possibility.'

Soren: So which of us is most likely to end up dead?

As they contemplated that question, Pyrrha walked by and looked at them before shrugging and continuing on her way to class.

 **Kiss the attempted cooker**

Alice and Weiss stood in front of the kitchen oven waiting for the timer to ding. Alice watched the oven with determination while Weiss looked over the recipe on her scroll. Lily wlaked into the kitchen and looked at the two girls.

Lily: What are you two doing?

Alice & Weiss: Baking.

Weiss: Ruby got on my case about cooking a few days ago…burn one cake and suddenly you're 'bad at it'.

Alice: I got on an F on our home economics elective…I'll show them how to bake a cake.

The sound of the timer going off had Alice immediately pull the cake out and place it on the counter as the other girls crowded around. It looked pristine, a picture perfect cake that smelled like heaven.

Alice: Alright…who wants to try it?

Both Weiss and Lily looked away.

Alice: Really? Even with how it looks?

Weiss: You have to understand. We ate your last project…

Lily: Please don't torture us.

Alice: Ingrates…we need a sucker.

Sun: Man, I'm starving!

Sun burst into the kitchen with Blake behind him and pulled a can of soda out of the fridge.

Alice: Sun! Perfect timing!

Sun: What are you chicks doing?

Alice: Actually, I just finished making a cake. Care for a slice?

Sun: Aw heck yeah!

Blake: Sun, I wouldn't-

Alice quickly covered Blake's mouth.

Alice: Ignore her…just try it.

Sun cut off a slice of cake as the girls watched before sticking a piece of it in his mouth and chewing.

Alice: …Soooo…how is it?

Sun: Tastes fine. I like it.

Alice: Yes!

Sun quickly finished the slice and stood back up.

Sun: Thanks Alice. That was just what I needed.

With that Sun walked out of the room.

Alice: See, I CAN cook.

Blake: Broken clock is right twice a day I guess.

The girls giggled as Alice glared at Blake.

 **Junior Detectives!**

Sun, Neptune and Soren all stood in the middle of a destroyed dorm as Velvet cowered nearby. The floors were covered in a red substance with Fox Alistair knocked out in the corner and a large hole in the window. Sun shook his head as Neptune and Soren gathered testimonies from Yatsuhashi and Coco.

Coco: And then he screamed that he'd be back for revenge.

Soren: Interesting…

Neptune: Did he have any notable markings?

Coco: Besides the bullet holes I put in his side, I don't think so.

Sun: The good new is, this case is fresh. If we work quickly we can find him before-

Suddenly, Sun's stomach gave out a low growl as he went wide eyed before collapsing to the ground and clutching his stomach.

Sun: OH GOD IT BURNS!

Neptune: What happened partner!?

Sun: MY STOMACH IS ON FIRE!

Soren: Speak to us man! Was it something you ate!?

Sun: The cake…THE CAKE!

Neptune: He's speaking in tongues!

Soren: We have to get him to the infirmary, now!

Neptune and Soren picked up Sun before moving him out of the room.

Coco: Wait! What about our attacker!?

Soren: We'll get back to it later!

As they got farther away Coco gave out a long groan. As she did, a clap of thunder lit up the room and, when it dissipated, left a tall dark figure in the open window.

?: I told you I'd be back for revenge!

 **My shadow walks beside me**

Lily turned a corner to see Gareth talking to someone out of her view.

Gareth: And so I said, that's a sword! …I might have screwed that joke up.

?: Sounded right to me.

Lily stopped as Gareth's voice came out of the other person and quickly moved to see Gareth talking to one of the shadow people…who looked exactly like Gareth.

Lily: Um Gareth…what are you doing?

Gareth: Hey Lily! Look at this. One of those shadow guys look like me!

Gareth(?): And this guy looks like me! It's weird isn't it!?

Lily: Yeah…weird…

Gareth: So what's your deal?

Gareth(?): Just a shadow person. You?

Gareth: Regular person.

Gareth(?): Cool…hey, wouldn't it be weird if we shadow people are just trying to take over you guys because you have actual forms and we don't?

Gareth: Yeah, that would be crazy!

Both of them laughed as Lily looked at them in amazement and confusion.

Gareth(?): Speaking of, mind coming with me to a secluded place where no one can hear anything? I've got something cool to show you.

Gareth: Sure man! I think this is the start of an awesome friendship.

Gareth(?): Yeah…a close friendship.

Lily watched as they walked away and shook her head.

Lily: I should probably stop that.

Lily(?): Yeah, WE probably should.

Lily looked next to her to see a shadow double of herself and scooted away before taking off into a full speed run.

 **Snow White and the Seven Dwarves**

Team JNPR took their seats in front of the set-up stage as the intermission music faded out and the curtains pulled back to reveal Weiss sitting with the backdrop of a castle behind her.

Narrator: Once upon a time, in a far-away kingdom. There was a girl by the name of Snow White.

Weiss: Truly, my beauty is like that of the driven snow.

Narrator: Her beauty and grace made those around her fall to their knees in admiration. She was truly the most beautiful. Men wanted her, women wanted to be her…and yet, she felt alone.

Weiss: If only a prince could whisk me away from this life of pampering and admiration…wait, what am I saying?

Ruby: Stick to the script!

Narrator: Then, one day, a prince came to the castle.

Soren stepped onto the stage.

Soren: Yes! I am the prince…and that's the extent of my personality.

Narrator: Snow White found herself instantly smitten with the prince.

Weiss: Wait, I do? I hardly know anything about him.

Ruby: Ignore that!

Weiss: Ugh…oh, what a charming and manly prince.

Soren: Oh my, what a beautiful and…captivating princess.

Ruby: Stop reading the script!

Soren: You gave me five minutes to remember this!

Weiss: Can we move this along.

The curtains drew in and a few minutes later the backdrop changed to a castle dungeon. IN the center stood Alice and Lily who held up a cut our circle with a hole in the center for her head.

Narrator: Although, not all loved her. In the castle was a wicked queen who envied her beauty.

Alice: Alright mirror. Who's the best-looking girl.

Lily: Um…s-sorry but…it's Snow White.

Alice: What!? She has the hair of a seventy year old.

Weiss: Hey! At least my hair isn't matted!

Alice: Shut up Weiss! You're not even in this scene!

Alice cleared her throat and turned back to Lily.

Alice: Alright, so now I've got to kill her…but instead, I'll send a huntsman to do it…despite the fact he has no reason to be loyal to me.

Gareth jumped onto the stage.

Gareth: I'm your man!

Alice: Sure you are…now go fail me.

Gareth: You got it!

The curtains pulled in again and when they pulled away the scene was back with Weiss and Gareth with a flower field background.

Narrator: So the hunter went to take care of Snow White. Only to find her too beautiful to truly kill.

Gareth: I can't take you out. Hot people don't deserve to be killed.

Weiss: Such is the advantage of being beautiful.

Alice: Vain!

Gareth: Please, just escape before she finds you!

Gareth took off and Weiss stood up as Ruby came in and switched the backdrop to a picture of a spooky forest.

Narrator: Snow White ran into the deep woods, until she came into the thick of the forest and was lost.

Weiss: I ran in one direction; how did I get lost?

Narrator: But luckily, in the distance, she spied a lone cottage bathed in sunlight.

Weiss: Finally, a scene that takes place in somewhere with air conditioning.

Ruby and Blake changed the scene. The backdrop changed to a room and a poorly made bed was placed for Weiss to lay on.

Narrator: After her long trek, Snow White decided to rest her weary body on one of the seven empty beds.

Weiss: I suppose anybody would be wiped after a relaxing sit in a field followed by a small walk through a forest.

Narrator: But as she rested in the bed, the dwarves that owned the house came back to find her sleeping their house.

Ruby, Blake and Yang all came onto the scene.

Ruby: What are you doing in our house?

Weiss: Wait, aren't their supposed to be seven dwarves?

Blake.: The others are having a union strike to increase the price of gems.

Yang: I'm Punchey!

Blake: I'm Bookey.

Ruby: And I'm friendly!

Ruby jumped onto Weiss and gave her a strong hug.

Ruby: We're gonna be besties forever!

Weiss: I think I should stay somewhere else.

Narrator: Deciding that this was the best place for her to stay-

Weiss: No I didn't!

Narrator: -Snow White made her home with the dwarves. Cooking and cleaning for them while they went to work.

Weiss: Wait, I gave up being a princess to be a house maid!?

Yang: The princess of cleaning.

Weiss: Shut it 'Punchey'!

The scene changed back to Alice with the backdrop of a laboratory.

Narrator: But her troubles were far from over. The evil queen knew that she was not dead.

Alice: That's what I get for hiring stupid people to do my dirty work.

Narrator: The evil queen had a plan.

Alice held up a red apple with a black cloak in her other hand.

Alice: I will use this apple to poison the princess. Once she bites into it, she will fall into a deep sleep and eventually die from malnutrition and starvation…why am I not just stabbing her?

Ruby: Because that's savage.

Alice: And this plan isn't!? If anything, it's more messed up to slow her death down!

Alice: Also, wouldn't the all knowing mirror be useful in telling me how likely this plan is to succeed?

Lily: I-I can't do predictions…also I'm biased to a certain point.

Alice: Obviously. Beauty is too subjective to name 'the best'.

Weiss: You're just jealous.

Ruby: Get back to the script!

The curtains closed and opened back up to Weiss in the house.

Narrator: One day, while Weiss was washing the dishes-

Weiss: There are cookie crumbs all over these plates.

Narrator: -an old woman approached Snow White.

Alice: Hello young woman.

Weiss: Hello old hag.

Alice: Funny…have an apple.

Narrator: But when she bit into the apple, she fell into a deep sleep.

Weiss: Oh my…I feel so woozy…where is my fainting butler?

Weiss fell to the ground as Ruby, Blake and Yang all entered the scene with shocked looks on their faces.

Ruby: NOOOOO, NOT MY BESTIE!

Blake: How could you…she meant so much to us.

Alice: You sound so sincere.

Yang: Now who's going to wash my clothes and cook my meals!?

Alice: Well it's over, now that she's dead we're done here.

Narrator: To avenge her death, the dwarves knew they had to kill the evil queen.

Alice: Wait, what?

Narrator: And unfortunately for her, they were packing.

Ruby pulled out Crescent Rose while Blake pulled out Gambol Shroud and Yang equipped her Ember Cecilia. Alice went wide eyed as they all cocked their weapons.

Alice: What is this!? The slum lord territory of fairy tale land!?

The curtains closed and three collective gunshots went off with Alice being blown out of the edge of the stage. When the curtains opened back up Weiss lied on a table surrounded by dandelions and grass as Ruby, Blake and Yang stood around her.

Narrator: Unfortunately, Snow White was in a deep slumber, with no way to wake up. The only thing that could bring her back was the prince she had met before.

Soren stepped onto stage, looking confused.

Soren: So…what am I supposed to do?

Ruby: You have to kiss her to wake her up.

Soren, Alice & Weiss: WHAT!?

Yang: Weiss, get back down.

Alice: Nonononono! I do NOT remember reading that in the script!

Blake: On the other note, how does that cure poison.

Soren: If anything, wouldn't that pass the poison onto the prince? I don't want to end up in an eternal sleep.

Weiss: Not the issue. Who allowed this kiss scene!?

Alice: And why didn't I play Snow White if that's the case.

Soren: Why would that change who plays Snow White?

Alice: Soren, go back to Team RWBY's room.

Soren: But the play isn't-

Alice: GO. BACK. TO TEAM RWBY'S ROOM!

Soren quickly shuffled off stage and towards the dorms.

Alice: Now who created this pile of garbage!

Ruby: It's not garbage!

Weiss: I should have know it was you.

Ruby: Actually, Yang made the tail end of it.

Alice: So you included the kiss scene.

Gareth: Nice!

Gareth gave Yang a high five and they chuckled.

Blake: Can we get back to the play?

Alice: No! If it involves Soren kissing Weiss than Snow White can die on that table!

Ruby: That's not a happy ending.

Alice: Then we're going for a twist ending where Snow White's incompetence and stupidity gets her killed…like actual beautiful people do.

Lily: If you're a celebrity.

Weiss stood up formt he table and fidgeted in thought before beginning to walk off stage towards the dorms.

Weiss: I'll…go grab Soren…so we can finish the play.

Alice: Like hell you will!

Alice jumped off stage and chased after Weiss as she began to run.

Narrator: Um…So with Snow White awoken from her slumber her and the prince…and the princes jealous other…lived happily ever after…hopefully.


End file.
